I've been single now for 2.5yrs, and I'm sure those of you late in 20s/30s can attest to friend’s and family’s increased interested in your marital status, with each passing year:
"Why aren’t you#dating anyone?”
“How are you still#single?”
“When will you get married?”
Our society has a "fix" or solve for everything, and #singleness seems to be a state that needs improvement. But, what if my singleness doesn’t need to be fixed? What if one of the most fulfilling and important #relationships I have, and am working to maintain, is the one with myself?
One of my personal creeds comes from Elizabeth Gilbert's quote:
"When I get #lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely. Learn your way around#loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.”
It’s not that I don’t have options. I have former flings and crushes I could call upon for attention; to temporarily fill my alone time, feel a flirtatious high, or boost my #selfworth. No.
I am not afraid to walk alone.
Alone is where I’ve learned and grown the most, where some of my best ideas have originated. Alone is where our individual health (OR hell) BEGINS. Alone is core.
And, when you come to the #mindset that alone is okay: you win! The entire world is available to you, because the state of alone is no longer something to fear or avoid. You stop forcing temporary relationships, or invest time in people you KNOW don’t have life partner potential.
When you learn to walk alone “and like it”, you’re freed up to make#healthy& wise relationship choices, that don’t stem from “not wanting to be alone”, but are evoked from having found a teammate in life who you wanna do the work with & makes you a better.
• I walk alone: because I refuse to invest my precious time chasing empty affirmation and fleeting connections.
• I walk alone: because I refuse to use other people as a crutch to avoid doing the work in me.
• I walk alone… and I like it.