I’ll be home for Christmas…
I walked in the door after a brisk December morning walk, feeling especially in the holiday spirit. As I quietly sang these words, the minute my mouth had uttered “home” tears welled up in my eyes.
These days I get especially emotional over the word and the concept of “home”. I’m still trying to figure out why exactly.
Albeit my views and beliefs, at age 30, have morphed from my original #Christian upbringing, there is a foundation that I cannot deny. No matter what I have come to believe, no matter how far I have “strayed”, deep calls unto deep.
Something is always calling me home.
Sometimes “home” is an actual place. Sometimes it’s a group of people.
My soul is a rest when I step in my parent’s door. I am overwhelmed with peace and assurance when I lay my head on my brother’s shoulder. I feel an immeasurable sense of safety when I am surrounded by my family – the people who have known me from conception, and who love me in spite of myself.
My life is in a bit of upheaval. In many ways I feel as if I’m being broken. The life I have constructed is being deconstructed – for the better. My relationship is uncertain, my job and future are unknown, and my bank account dwindling.
I’ll be home…
Throughout all the uncertainties that I am currently facing in my life, the idea of returning to my roots, my safety zone – returning to the most innocent and untainted parts of myself, brings me peace.
No matter how far I’ve wandered, no matter how many poor decisions I’ve made in my life, there is constantly and quietly a desire to return… return to the simplicity, return to peace, return to the girl I once was, and return to a foundation of faith, hope and love.
There is a lot of uncertainty in my life right now, but I’m grasping for, and clinging to those roots - that foundation within me. No matter where I go, it’s always there. No matter where I go He is always there.
Home. I'll be #home...