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Wearing my heart on my sleeve

Updated: Aug 7, 2020

Sometimes I worry about being too much; saying too much too soon, coming on too strong - "scaring" the person I'm crushing on.

If I like you, I’ll tell you. But if I like you I’m not suppose to tell you I like you too quickly... or let on that I like you too much.

There are rules.

I should wait for him to message me. Or, if I message him I shouldn’t do so it too often. If I message first... today... then I shouldn’t be the first one to message tomorrow.

Don’t come on too strong.

Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve.

Come off slightly unavailable and challenging. People like a good challenge.

So, I've become caluclated with my words and actions - with my heart. I worry about scaring someone and being "too much".

But, what if I want someone scared?

What if I want someone who loves that I say the wrong thing... or say the right thing way "too soon"? What if I want someone who relishes my #honesty and poor timing? What if I want someone who likes unpredictable and non-traditional? What if I start trying to be less intentionally “challenging” and hard-to-get, and just started being……. me?

What then?

I might come on too strong. I might get rejected. But is #rejection really the worst of my problems? Is that the worst thing that could happen? And can I survive rejection? I have up until now.

What if I gave myself permission to be me?

What if I lived less calculated?

What if I wasn’t afraid to scare people?

What if I wore my #heart on my sleeve?

What would that do for the world? What would that do for other people? What would that do for the very person who is looking… for this heart of mine? And, what would that do for me?

Are some bumps, bruises and breaks the worst possible thing that can happen? And isn’t total freedom and lack of regret the very B E S T thing that can happen? So, what am I waiting for? What am I afraid of?

I hate the games. I want permission to fully and freely be me, but I’m beginning to realize that no one is magically going to grant that to me. I, myself, must give me permission.

Wear your heart on your sleeve, Tiffany. Scare some people. Life isn’t safe, predictable, clean and pretty. Be daring. Be you. Someone can’t wait for that!

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